Happiness Habits
Happiness isn't waiting for you at the end of the to-do list!
I recently stumbled on a phrase…Happiness Habits and it’s stuck in my mind!
Here’s why...As Americans, we work and work, and work. And somewhere along the way, we decided that happiness is something you earn…a reward you get to collect after the to-do list is finished. After the house is clean. After the work is done.
I am so guilty of this.
With me it’s always…when I finish this, I’ll sit down, or when the house is clean, I’ll rest. Except those things never actually happen. So I eat lunch standing up. I sneak a glass of wine while I’m vacuuming. I stay up too late to finally read the chapter of my book I’ve been saving. And then I feel guilty about all of it. I should sit down and have a proper lunch, I should get my work done and then relax and ENJOY a glass of wine, or I should be able to take a break during the day and read for a while! Why can I not get myself together enough to get it all done???
It’s a vicious cycle.
But, here’s what I’ve realized…the candle I light to make the house smell good isn’t a small thing. The fresh flowers in the entry that nobody asked for…they make me feel good. The wine while vacuuming, the late night chapter, the lunch I probably should have sat down for…these aren’t guilty pleasures stolen between productive moments.
They are my life.
I chose this life on purpose…including living in an almost 100-year-old house with plaster walls and original hardwood floors. Old houses don't let you forget them. They need constant tending to, constant attention, constant care, and there is always something demanding your time and resources in a way that a newer home simply doesn't demand. Baldy and I see ourselves as stewards of something that existed long before us and will hopefully exist long after us, and that responsibility is not lost on us for a single minute. I chose the quirks and I chose the obligation, and I'd choose it all again without hesitation.
I chose the work too. The content I create everyday, the creativity and care I try to put into everything I do, the Instagram and social media…all of it and I chose it because it feeds my soul. Most days it doesn't feel like work at all, and on the days it does, I do it anyway because I can't imagine doing anything else and you don’t just give up on something you’ve built and love!
So what’s a girl to do when she loves her life and she’s exhausted by it?
She stops waiting to deserve anything because it’s not about deserving!
That’s the happiness habit. Not a ritual or a routine or a wellness practice. Just a decision, made over and over, in small moments to notice that this is it. This chaos, this beautiful house, this work I love, these daughters who are my best friends, these five grandchildren, this husband — this is the life.
The candle isn't a reward, so light it now…not when the work is done, not when the house is clean, not when you've earned it. The flowers aren't for guests, they're for you, so put them in a beautiful vase in the entry anyway and let them make you happy every single time you walk past them. And…the wine was never something to feel guilty about in the first place!
There are no rules. There is no finish line after which happiness begins.
Balance is overrated but gratitude isn’t. Do the best you can in the moment! Celebrate everything and don’t worry about the guilt…trust me, it’ll still be there at any moment you choose to revisit!
I’m not going to stop eating lunch standing up anytime soon. But I’m going to stop apologizing for the life I chose on purpose.
Let me know if this resonates!
~XOXO Suzanne
❤️ this!